AFN 2025: Van non-tour

Where to begin? We Milddogs ordered our van in October of 2020 and took delivery April 13, 2021 (same day we got our first COVID vaccine). When borders opened up we embarked on a 6 week adventure down through the states with our destination being Arizona. We called this the AFY Tour. AFY is an acronym for “America Fuck Yeah” which is a phrase in “Team America World Police”, a brilliant, if not disturbing, American movie. To date, we have enjoyed 3 longer spring trips down to the south / southwest of America. We have stayed at the shore of the Gulf of Mexico. We have had wonderful, safe adventures and met many wonderful people and enjoyed climate and scenery we can’t experience in Canada (at least in the late winter / early spring). Our van was a great launch out of COVID.

Was that it? This year’s “tour” is the America Fuck No! tour. With special thanks to the chaos orangutan duly elected in the United? States, we, and many other Canadians, are going to stay out of the USofA this year. That makes me really sad. Sad for us, sad for Canada, sad for Americans that are not being enriched by the forthcoming tax cuts. The president won 49.7% of the popular vote. Overall, 63.9% of eligible voters cast a ballot. Ultimately, that means 31.8% of eligible voters voted for the “winner”.

As a Canadian with a long held belief that America is our friend, our neighbour and our partner, I can’t, in good faith, suspend my shock and anger and travel down to the land we love to visit. Instigating a trade war, belittling our sovereignty and demeaning our leader is unforgivable. I’m sorry citizens of America, it’s mostly not you. At least it’s not 68.2% of you.

What sealed the deal for me was the night in mid February when I awoke with the thought that I would need to find a way to conceal my Canadian license plates when parked. Why? When the economic fallout happens and more people are out of work, they will blame Canada. OK, a majority of the 31.8% will. That might make us targets. It’s an odd target. We are here to love. To share our dollars despite the terrible exchange rate (unrelated). To explore. To share experiences.

We shall miss the H.E.B. We shall miss Buc-ees. We shall miss the excellent food (mostly found at those tiny non-descript off the beaten path places).

Here are some of the things I don’t understand.

• Why would people of faith sell their souls to align with one of the least moral people imaginable? Your agenda at all costs? If you fear eternal judgment, you might want to revisit your loyalty. Apparently hypocrisy is easy.
• How could any female (or male, for that matter) deliver a women’s month proclamation for the president to sign while celebrating all he has done for women?
• How could anyone that considers themselves a leader lower themselves to become nothing more than a cuckolded sycophant? That’s not leadership!
• Despite a complete backtrack on DEI, why does the VP still get to wear eyeliner?

Here is the good news. At least in Canada, our single trick populist “leader” of the Conservative party, has been found out. Going to be hard to do well as a Maple MAGA these days, Pierre. Might want to actually develop a platform that seeks to celebrate our strengths, fosters unity and financial independence rather than just spreading hate and pandering to the lowest common denominator. What kind of a feckless twot won’t (can’t) get his security clearance?

Now to disclose what our agenda was going to be for this year’s trip. Our plan was (always subject to modifications due to weather) spend most of the month on the Gulf of Mexico coast in Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama. Would have been nice to see the scenery, meet the people and spend some money in historically impoverished areas. Where is Mrs. Milddogs going to get her crawdads this year?

America, we love you, please sort this shit out so we can come back. Friends.

As a Canadian, I must apologize for getting political. Sorry, not sorry.

We are thinking about our summertime adventures. I expect and hope that Canada will be very crowded this summer with all of us staying home. In the meantime, we are having our bathroom renovated. No, the van is not for sale. We will use it as base camp for some mostly local Brompton adventures. We also hope to be able to travel south soon. Or maybe we ship it to Europe? Rent one in Australia and join the grey nomads?

Feel free to go back and revisit our previous adventures.

Amy says hi!